


Total Re-Quest

by tablelamp



Category: Galavant (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Quests, Songs, a little Angst too, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 16:45:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7900303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tablelamp/pseuds/tablelamp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gareth decides to go on a quest to find Madalena and let her know he still cares about her.  But will Madalena want to be found?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Total Re-Quest

**Author's Note:**

> As no doubt you will see,  
> I've taken liberty  
> with some events at second season's ending.  
> Hope you'll enjoy the fic,  
> and that you won't go "Ick!"  
> at the new plotlines that are shortly pending.  
> Now here comes the fic in this next section,  
> moving in a new direction  
> So  
> get ready, set, let's go,  
> and now we'll start the show,  
> here's what we know of Galavant!

King Richard found Gareth standing atop a parapet, looking out at the countryside below. He did that a lot these days. Richard wondered if his vision was going, because he couldn’t see anything even remotely interesting from this parapet, never mind something that would keep Gareth’s attention for days.

“So,” Richard said, sitting beside Gareth.

Gareth glared at Richard, but Richard didn’t take that personally. Gareth glared at everyone. It was kind of his thing.

“So what?” Gareth said.

“So,” Richard said. “Interesting view.” And he nodded knowingly to show that he could definitely see the interesting thing that Gareth was looking at.

But Gareth only shrugged. “Dunno.”

Richard gave Gareth a sideways look, but Gareth didn’t elaborate further. Of course, this was Gareth. He never elaborated further. Still, he seemed to be lacking a certain air of aggressive glee.

“You seem down,” Richard said.

Gareth shrugged again.

“We should talk about it.”

Gareth gave Richard a look, eyebrows raised in skepticism.

“Or we could find an unruly mob to enrage,” Richard offered. “You always used to like that.”

Gareth sighed. “I’m not much for fighting mobs right now.”

Richard nodded. “Okay.”

This was awkward. Why was it awkward? He couldn’t remember friendship with Gareth having been awkward before. Of course, he hadn’t been the One True King then. Maybe Gareth was a bit overawed by his fame and majesty.

But the look on Gareth’s face didn’t seem to be indicating overawe with Richard’s fame and majesty. And the silence…that was the strangest thing. Gareth was a man of few words, yes, but not generally a man of no words. Richard had always depended on Gareth to be his friend, to help and support him, and he found that he didn’t really know what to do in the opposite direction. Should he insist that Gareth talk to him, or try to distract him by singing a selection of the highly inaccurate popular songs the bards had written about their admittedly legendary battle against evil? (Richard was particularly fond of the one that began, “King Richard, he stood eight feet high/And his dragon eight feet higher.”)

He was opening his mouth to ask if Gareth wanted to hear a song when Gareth said, “You really wanna know?”

Richard had forgotten what they’d been talking about, and now he had a song stuck in his head. “Know what?”

“What’s wrong.”

“Of course I want to know! We’re friends, aren’t we?” Richard paused expectantly, but the lack of an immediate response made him nervous. “Aren’t we?”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re friends,” Gareth said without much conviction.

Richard didn’t require conviction in his declarations of friendship. “Good. Yes. Tell me everything, bestie.”

Gareth cleared his throat. “It’s not good, you know.”

“What isn’t?”

“She sleeps  
in the empty space  
in the bed next to me.  
She sits  
down to breakfast where  
her favorite chair used to be.  
I hear her talk and laugh  
in the quiet of every hall,  
cause living without her’s  
not living without her at all.

I see her  
in the dusty room  
that we used to share.  
I think I see her  
ten times a day,  
but she’s never there.  
I miss her bloodlust  
whenever I’m in a brawl,  
cause living without her’s  
not living without her at all.

Every day I imagine  
if she were here, how it would be, and  
every day I remember  
I asked her to choose, and she didn’t choose me.

She’s gone,  
but she’s with me still  
every place that I go.  
And I’m sure  
she’s forgotten me  
a very long time ago.  
I can’t forget her though;  
she’s with me up on this wall,  
cause living without her’s  
not living without her at all.  
Living without her’s  
not living without her at all.”

Richard nodded thoughtfully. “So just to be clear, who are we talking about?”

“Queen Madalena!” Gareth snapped. Then, more quietly, “The queen that was.” Then, almost whispered, “Maddie.”

“You know she’s evil.”

“Would I love her if she wasn’t?”

“Fair enough,” Richard said.

Gareth sighed. “I think I have to find her.”

Richard stood.

Gareth glared at Richard. “Where are you going?”

“To pack.”

“You’re never coming with me.”

“Of course I am,” Richard said. “You’re on a quest to regain your lost love! Although I should point out that when Galavant did this, it didn’t go particularly—“

“Yeah, I was there,” Gareth interrupted. “I know the odds.”

“Anyway, of course I’m coming.”

“I just thought with the One True King thing, you might stay here and…” Gareth gestured vaguely. “…king a bit.”

“I can king anywhere,” Richard said. “Besides, I’ve discovered I love quests! ‘One time in days of old, there was a legend told, about a hero known as Gaaaaaareth—‘“

“Look, if we’re gonna do this, no songs about me,” Gareth said.

Richard pouted. “None?”

“No.”

“What about songs about me?”

Gareth considered it. “Yeah, all right.”

Richard smiled in satisfaction. “King Richard, he stood eight feet high,/And his dragon eight feet higher…”

***

Roberta frowned. “You’re going to do what?”

“We’re going on a quest to rescue Madalena from the lure of evil,” Richard explained, his expression and tone of voice containing no small amount of glee. Beside him, Gareth stood, examining the floor as though he had seen Richard’s enthusiasm before and wanted no part in it.

“Am I missing something? I thought we just fought Madalena to make sure she went somewhere very far away,” Roberta said.

“Well, yes,” Richard said slowly. “But we’re saving her from evil first and then bringing her back. So as long as she’s evil, we won’t bring her back.” He lowered his voice. “I’m doing this for Gareth.”

“Oi!” Gareth protested.

“She’s my wife, Gareth. It’s all right if she knows you have feelings.” Richard turned to Roberta. “Promise you won’t tell anyone.”

“Of course not,” Roberta said.

“There’s still the matter of naming our expedition,” Richard said, looking thoughtful. “I’m still leaning toward Bestie Questie even though I’m not sure ‘Questie’ gets at the gravity of what we’re trying to do here.”

Roberta looked at Gareth, who responded with a ‘what can you do?’ shrug.

“So,” she said carefully, trying not to sound as though she were the only logical person in the room, although of course she felt that way. “If you and Gareth come across someone who seems hostile…”

“I’ll punch him in the face,” Gareth said.

Richard shrugged. “I’ll tell Gareth to punch him in the face.”

“All right. I’m coming with you,” Roberta said.

Richard beamed. “Great! We can have picnics!”

“There’s no time for picnics!” Gareth said indignantly.

“Oh, but there was time for you to sulk on the parapet for a month?” Richard said.

“Guys,” Roberta said.

Richard turned to her. “There wasn’t even anything for him to stare at up there!”

“Guys!” Roberta said. “When were you planning to leave?”

“Soon as we can,” Gareth said.

Roberta paused. “You know, there is the possibility that she may not want to be rescued. She did choose this path of her own free will.”

“Yeah, he said that,” Gareth said, tipping his head in Richard’s direction.

Roberta smiled. That was an impressive amount of foresight from Richard, and she loved when he surprised her. “You did?”

Richard didn’t say anything, but he smiled too, lifting his chin slightly with pride.

“Well?” Roberta said, turning her attention back to Gareth.

“I know it doesn’t make sense,” Gareth admitted. “And if she tells me to leave, I’ll do it. But if she’s not sure or…” He shook his head. “She’s got more than one path to choose from. That’s all I want her to know.”

Roberta nodded. “I understand.” She paused. “Give me an hour to pack. Then I’ll be ready.”

Richard beamed with giddy anticipation. Roberta could only hope his excitement wasn’t misguided.

***

Galavant walked onto the parapet. “I hear you’re going on a quest.”

Gareth snorted. “Think I know who told you.”

Richard meant well, and could be a loyal friend, but Galavant knew he had the secret-keeping ability of a town crier. “I wanted to wish you luck.”

“Thanks,” Gareth said. He shook his head. “How did you manage?”

“Sid and Isabella, mostly,” Galavant said.

Gareth shook his head. “No, I mean…once she chose to be queen instead of going with you. How did you cope?”

Galavant stood beside Gareth at the parapet wall. “You think you can’t.”

“But you can?” 

“No, you can’t.”

“Oh.”

“And then you try.”

“And you can?”

“No, you can’t.”

“Oh.”

“You remember your feats  
and how she used to love them,  
but if she doesn’t care,  
well, then what’s the point of them?  
And then you cry.”

Gareth grimaced. “No, you don’t.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Oh.”

“And someone asks  
you to care.”

“And you do?”

“No.  
But you look at yourself  
and don’t know how you got here  
so you make an attempt  
to get back in the plot here.  
And soon one day,  
when you try,  
then you can.”

“Oh.”

“You find the pain’s  
gone away,  
and you can.”

“So…  
What if you’re not the hero?”

“What? I’m obviously the hero,” Galavant said.

Gareth rolled his eyes. “What if I’m not the hero?”

“Well, of course you’re the hero.  
Are you questing for true love?”

“Yeah.”

“And to save your love from evil?”

“Right.”

“Can you be bought off with gold?”

“No.”

“Unimaginable power?”

“Maybe.” Galavant stared at Gareth, and Gareth cleared his throat. “Er, no, course not.”

“You may think  
that you can’t  
but you can.”

“Yeah.  
You really think,  
honestly,  
that I can?”

“Yeah.”

Gareth nodded. “Cheers, mate.”

Galavant paused for a moment before he spoke. “If it matters…having seen the two of you, she seems to care for you more than she cared for me.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” Galavant said. “Tell her what’s in your heart.”

Gareth snorted. “No way am I doing that.”

“You’re right,” Galavant said. “That wouldn’t work. Honestly, I’m the last person who should be giving you advice.”

Gareth shrugged. “Nice of you to think of it, though.”

“I hope you win.”

Gareth shook his head. “I don’t know what winning would look like.” He paused. “But yeah. Me too.”

Nothing more needed to be said, really, so the two of them stood silently on the parapet for a while. Galavant didn’t know what Gareth was thinking, but Galavant was wondering just when Gareth had come to be something close to his friend. Because he was…and Galavant was glad he was.

***

Madalena was ushered into a sparsely furnished room with two armchairs and tapestries covering the stone walls.

“Sit here,” the doorkeeper said. “He’ll be right in.”

Madalena sat, back straight, touching the necklace the DEL (Dark Evil Lord) had chosen for her. It may have been her imagination, but she could almost feel it humming and fizzing beneath her fingers. True, it didn’t contain the dark powers of the universe, but there was magic in it. She could tell as much.

Suddenly, the lights went out, plunging the room into darkness. After a moment, a single spotlight illuminated the fireplace, and to the sounds of accompaniment emanating from the walls, the DEL stepped into the spotlight. He was scruffy and dressed entirely in black, with a rather anachronistic leather jacket. He smiled at Madalena, and she knew without a doubt that she was smiling back. Yes. This was where she belonged.

“Welcome to my castle.  
It may not seem like much.  
Walls are full of brews and potions;  
look, but don’t you touch.  
You’ve got something inside you  
sent you looking for me.  
Step right up to the magic man  
and be bad as you wanna be.

I can tell that you’re hungry for power, baby  
by the look upon your face.  
Well now, if you’re looking for evil,  
you came to the right place.

You want curses and hexes?  
I’ve got those by the score.  
I’ve got dungeons to lock up my enemies  
just under the floor.  
I’ve got cauldrons a-bubblin’  
for unspeakable deeds.  
You have reached the one-stop shop  
for your most terrifying needs.

Oh, I can see that you’re into my darkness, baby,  
by that look upon your face.  
If you’re looking for evil,  
you came to the right place.”

After the accompaniment ended, the DEL waved an imperious hand and the lights came on.

“So?” he said.

Madalena tried not to seem overexcited or like too much of a fansorceress. “The flutes in your accompaniment were half a tone sharp for the last eight bars.”

She almost expected him to be angry at that, but he smiled, his gaze perceptive.

“Oh, I like you,” the DEL said. “Come on. Let’s get started.”

Madalena couldn’t wait.

***

“King Richard, he stood eight feet high,  
And his dragon eight feet higher—“

Gareth groaned. “You’ve sung that song six times in the past fifteen minutes.”

“It’s a good song,” Richard protested, sounding hurt.

“Let me sing it!” Sid said hopefully. “I can sing!”

“We know you can sing, Sid,” Roberta said warmly.

“Too little adventuring and too much singing going on, if you ask me,” Gareth grumbled.

“I’m sorry, what was that, Gareth? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of your bad mood,” Richard said.

Gareth turned on him. “Look, I wanted a quest, not a bloody parade!”

“The flag’s too much, isn’t it?” Sid asked with some disappointment, attempting to hide the twenty-foot flag he’d been waving for the past five miles.

“It’s not the flag,” Gareth said.

“I just really like flags,” Sid said, staring at his feet.

“It’s not the flag!” Gareth repeated. “It’s the everything! I’m trying to plan what I’ll do when I get there, only I can’t because people are singing and talking and asking if we can eat.”

“Tad Cooper gets hungry,” Richard said defensively.

Gareth sighed. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“It wasn’t a bad idea,” Roberta said. “We’re not used to questing together. We all like to have things our own way…”

“I don’t,” Sid said.

“Most of us like to have things our own way,” Roberta amended. “Being in such close quarters is bound to make us surly at first. We’ll get used to it.”

Richard nodded in agreement. “We’re off on a quest,  
to face a test,  
my buddy, my wife, and my dragon.  
And also, there’s Sid,  
who won’t be hid.  
He has flags, but he’s surely not flaggin’…” Richard trailed off, looking pleased. “See what I did there? Flaggin’? To rhyme with dragon?”

Roberta chimed in. “We won’t give in;  
we’ll always win  
cause it’s valor that we’re bringing.

Sid added, “So give a cheer,  
for we are here.”

“I just wish we did less singing,” Gareth grumbled.

Richard ignored him. “We’re off on a quest…”

“We are the best!” Sid added eagerly.

Roberta joined in. “And those most inclining to grieve’ll  
be happy to see  
that we are we  
as we vanquish the forces of evil.”

All but Gareth joined together. “We won’t give in;  
we’ll always win.”

“With Tad Cooper we’ll be winging,” Richard added.

Everyone but Gareth joined in again. “So give a cheer,  
for we are here…” And they trailed off, looking expectantly at Gareth.

Gareth sighed. “And I’ll just have to cope with the singing.”

***

Gwynne looked up when Vincenzo came rushing into their house, looking panicked.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

He gestured for her to move away from the window. “Hide!”

“Why? What’s out there? If it’s the ogre again, I’ve got those flowers he likes, so…”

“It’s castle people!” he said. “King Richard and Gareth and the lot!”

“What are they doing here?” Gwynne asked with a frown.

“I didn’t ask them! I don’t want them to see us!” He gestured again for her to get down.

Gwynne did, crawling beneath their kitchen table even as her husband did the same thing. “I feel a bit stupid.”

“You know what will happen if they find us. They’ll decide they need a chef and a maid, and we’ll have to go with them! We’ve spent the last however long trying to avoid anything happening to us. I don’t want to break that record. Do you?”

“No,” Gwynne said reluctantly.

He sighed softly. “Look…to them, we’re expendable. We’re peasants. Peasants die all the time.” He took her hand. “You’re not expendable to me.”

Gwynne smiled at him. “You’re not expendable to me either.” She paused a moment. “How long d’you think we need to wait under the table though?”

“I think they’ll have gone by dusk,” he said anxiously. “We should be safe then.”

And he was right.

***

“Before you can be truly evil, and not just wicked,” the DEL said, “you have to face your past.”

Madalena frowned. “I’ve done that.”

“Not this way,” the DEL said. “This will be different.” He gestured to her. “Touch your necklace and close your eyes.”

“Forgive me if I don’t trust you, Dark Evil Lord,” Madalena said sarcastically.

“Good,” the DEL said. “I promise to leave you alone while you complete this task.” He gave her a slight bow that, to Madalena’s eyes, contained more mockery than courtesy.

“No harm will come to me?” Madalena asked.

The DEL gave her a sly smile. “Not from me. About the rest, I make no promises.” He left the room before he could explain what that meant. That was the one thing about evil people that Madalena found dead annoying—they were always so ridiculously cryptic.

She closed her eyes and touched the jewel on her necklace…

…and suddenly she was back in the dim light of her room in the castle—not the room she’d shared with Richard (and others), but the room where she’d been kept while she’d been awaiting Galavant’s rescue. She’d been such a fool then.

“Hello,” said a voice behind her. “Have you come to let me out?”

Madalena turned to see who was there, and came face to face with herself. The woman before her was a self she barely recognized, clad in her simple peasant garb, smiling benignly.

“Who are you?” Madalena snarled, trying not to feel fear.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me,” peasant Madalena said, taking a seat near the window. “I’m not going to hurt us.”

Madalena wasn’t convinced of that. Experience had shown her that it was only a matter of time before someone decided to hurt you. Best to strike first, if you could.

“Why are you here?” she asked.

“You put me here,” peasant Madalena replied. “Don’t you remember?”

This was all very confusing. “I remember this day. But I don’t remember two of us being here.” Madalena walked to the window, staring out at the familiar view. “Every day by the window,  
waiting for my love to save me.  
Just me and the window  
and the promises he gave me.  
But he didn’t save me when he was nearby,  
so how could he save me now?  
I had to be saved…somehow.

Every day by the window,  
I thought of all that I could lose,  
locked here in this prison  
in a life I never got to choose.  
If I were the queen, then I could decide  
the weave of my fate’s design.  
My life isn’t theirs; it’s mine.

So I took, and I kept taking,  
but I don’t regret the past  
or the lives that I was breaking.  
Now I have control at last.  
So why am I unhappy?  
And why am I not free?  
And while all this was going on,  
what was happening to me?

Now I’m back at the window.  
What I took, they want to take away.  
So they all choose their battles,  
and I have to fight them every day.  
I can never go back to the way I was;  
I am who I choose to be.  
My future belongs to me.”

Peasant Madalena was silent for a while. “You can’t control everything.”

“Maybe you can’t,” Madalena retorted. “You’re nothing but a weak, helpless peasant who had no choice but to accept what other people did to her.” Those bullying posh girls, King Richard—they were alike, they were all alike.

“I didn’t have power,” peasant Madalena agreed. “But I had love.”

“I don’t love Galavant.” She’d been in love with the idea of him, with the freedom he’d represented.

“I’m not talking about Galavant.”

Madalena glared at herself. “What do you know about Gareth?”

“He loves us,” peasant Madalena said.

“And he betrayed us,” Madalena said. “He’s like the others.”

“He’s not.”

“He didn’t want me to do this. He fought against my army.”

“Can you blame him? Those legions of the undead were a bit creepy. And you did betray his trust.”

Madalena had never allowed herself to think about that. What was important was the result. “It was necessary.”

“Why?”

“If I lose…if I’m taken prisoner…” Madalena had never felt so helpless or full of despair as she had sitting in this room, knowing her future had been decided for her. “I won’t be powerless again.”

“No one said power and evil were the same thing.”

Madalena stared at her peasant self.

“You can choose power without choosing evil,” peasant Madalena said.

“They work together.”

Peasant Madalena shook her head. “Not always.”

Madalena could feel her resolve wavering. Maybe this was a mistake. She did already have political and magical power. Maybe if she left now, Gareth would still…

No. It wasn’t up to Gareth whether she was acceptable or not. She would decide, and when she went back, she would make him beg for her the way Galavant had begged, the way King Richard had begged. She would make him want her the way she was, love her the way she was.

“You’re a trap,” she said, voice low and dangerous.

Peasant Madalena frowned. “What?”

“You’re trying to trick me into giving up,” Madalena said. “You want me weak and helpless like you.”

“No. I’m only your past.”

“I have no past. And I’m not going to be you again, so you can stay locked up forever. I’m never letting you out.”

Before peasant Madalena could reply, Madalena removed her hand from the jewel, the castle changing to the DEL’s castle around her. Rage coursed through her, and she welcomed the feeling; rage was power, and it fed her magic. She stood, sending the closed doors nearby flying open with just a wave of her hand.

The DEL was waiting outside. “So did you—“

She stalked toward him. He was her enemy; she couldn’t trust him. “I won’t be tricked. Ever.”

He frowned at her. “What did you see?“ His gaze lowered to her necklace. “That shouldn’t still be glowing. Not if you’re—“

But she had no patience for his games any longer. With her magic, she sent him some distance from the castle and placed wards around him so he couldn’t travel more than a few miles in any direction, with magic or without it. He could certainly never return here.

The DEL’s servant came pelting round the corner. “What was that?”

Madalena smiled at him. “This castle is under new management.”

Around her neck, the necklace’s jewel glowed brightly.

***

Roberta was awakened by the sound of soft whispering. When she opened her eyes, she saw Richard still awake, back hunched as he crouched facing away from the fire. She got silently to her feet and crossed to him.

“Love?” she asked quietly. “Why are you still awake?”

Richard turned to Roberta, and she could see that his eyes were red. “It’s Tad Cooper.”

Roberta knelt beside the small dragon. “Is he all right?”

“He won’t eat,” Richard said. “He hasn’t eaten anything since yesterday. I brought his favorite treats and he won’t touch them.”

“Maybe he’s not hungry?” Roberta suggested.

Richard shook his head. “No. It’s more than that. You know how he likes to go exploring wherever we make camp, but today he’ll barely move. He’s just been lying here.”

“Perhaps there’s someone living nearby we could consult about dragon medicine,” Roberta said, reaching for the small creature.

Richard caught her hand. “Don’t. He’s so hot I nearly burnt myself earlier.”

Roberta nodded, taking Richard’s hand in hers. “Tell me how to help you.”

“I’m not the one who needs help,” Richard said. “And I don’t know what to do. I’m supposed to take care of him and I don’t even know what’s wrong.”

“His fire’s coming in,” Gareth said from behind them.

They both turned to look at him.

“It’s like a dragon version of teething,” Gareth said. “Their stomachs hurt while it’s coming. Then they’re all right.”

“How do you know that?” Roberta asked.

Gareth shrugged. “Used to know a bloke trained dragons. Had a stupid name—Sneezes or summat. Anyway.”

“He won’t be able to travel until he’s feeling better, then,” Richard said slowly.

“I wouldn’t think so,” Roberta said, following Richard’s train of thought.

“Nah,” Gareth said. “You’ll have to stay here. Take care of the little tyke.”

Richard looked at Gareth again. “You don’t mind?”

“What have I got to do with it?” Gareth asked.

“I promised I’d come with you,” Richard said.

“You can catch up when Tad’s feeling better,” Gareth said. “Me and Sid can manage till then.”

Richard nodded, looking overwhelmed. “Thank you.”

Gareth slipped back to his bedroll by the fire to sleep, and Roberta wrapped an arm around Richard.

“He’ll be better soon,” she said. “And think how amazed everyone will be when Tad Cooper breathes fire!”

Richard smiled at that. “It is exciting, isn’t it?”

Roberta returned the smile. “Very. Do you want me to sit up with him so you can sleep?”

Richard shook his head. “I won’t sleep anyway. But…if you wouldn’t mind sitting with me…”

“Of course not,” Roberta said.

He leaned his head against hers. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Roberta said.

***

Sid consulted his map. “When we come to the clearing ahead, we should be able to see the Dark Evil Lord’s castle.”

“Right,” Gareth said.

Within the hour, they’d reached the clearing. All around them, it was a sunny day…except to the west, where dark clouds gathered over a gloomy, steep hill featuring a castle that was all spikes and angles.

“That’s not even subtle,” Gareth said.

“Well, he does have a reputation to maintain,” Sid said uncertainly.

Gareth glanced at Sid. “Want to turn back?”

“Yes,” Sid said. “But I’m not going to.”

Gareth almost smiled. The lad was brave; Gareth couldn’t deny that. He’d never quailed, never waffled, never flagged…well, not unless you counted the literal flags, and Gareth didn’t.

“But,” Sid added with some hesitation, “what if we’re killed on the way there? What if he calls down lightning from the sky to strike us? Or—“

“Then I suppose we’ll know how she feels about being rescued,” Gareth said.

Sid stared openmouthed at Gareth. “That’s not very reassuring!”

“I don’t do reassuring,” Gareth said. “Come on. Let’s get up that hill.”

Sid swallowed hard and followed Gareth.

***

Richard and Roberta were tending to Tad Cooper (first he hadn't been hungry; now it seemed he was eating all the time!) when a disheveled man in a leather jacket stumbled into their camp.

“Are you all right?” Roberta asked.

The man shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“I’m King Richard, and this is Queen Roberta,” Richard said.

“I’m the Dark Evil Lord,” the man said.

Richard and Roberta exchanged a puzzled look, and then looked at the DEL.

“What?” the DEL asked.

“Nothing,” Roberta said tactfully.

“I thought you’d be more impressive,” Richard said somewhat less tactfully.

“Normally I am,” the DEL said. “But something’s happened to me. Every time I try to get home, I get zapped back to the same place in the woods.”

“Sounds like a curse,” Roberta said.

Richard was bewildered. “But who would curse you?”

“I’d just taken a new apprentice,” the DEL said.

Richard and Roberta exchanged another look, and said simultaneously, “Madalena.”

“You know her?” the DEL asked incredulously. “How are you still alive?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Richard said.

“What did you end up teaching her?” Roberta asked.

“That’s the strange part—nothing! I was in the middle of my usual ‘get in touch with your past’ seminar, and when she came out of her reverie, she sent me to the middle of the woods, and I can’t get back.”

“Gareth’s in danger,” Richard said. “We have to warn him.”

“How do you suggest we do that?” Roberta asked. “We don’t have time to catch up with him.”

Richard gestured to the DEL. “Don’t we have a Dark Evil Lord sitting right here?”

“The Dark Evil Lord’s very uncomfortable with you talking about him as though he’s not standing right next to you,” the DEL grumbled.

Roberta turned to him. “Will you help us send Gareth a message?”

The DEL grimaced. “It does go against the ‘evil’ part of my job description a bit.”

“You’re wandering helplessly through a forest,” Roberta said. “How evil can you be right now?”

“Fair point,” the DEL said. “All right, I’ll help you—this time. But if this ever gets out—“

“We know. You’ve got a reputation to maintain,” Richard said.

The DEL spread his arms, and after a moment, a pigeon landed on his hand.

Richard grimaced. “A pigeon?”

The DEL gave him a sour look. “You were expecting a bluebird?”

“I thought maybe a hawk,” Richard said.

“Hawks are surprisingly unreliable. One view of a small rodent from the air and they forget all about delivering your message. But pigeons love me,” the DEL said. “Anyway, this is a messenger pigeon. Tap its wing and you can capture a short message that will automatically play when the pigeon reaches its target.”

Richard turned to Roberta. “Should the target be Gareth?”

She shook her head. “Better make it Sid. Gareth might be hungry.”

Richard nodded. “Right. Tap the wing, you say?”

“If the message runs too long, the pigeon will coo to let you know,” the DEL said.

Richard beamed. “Isn’t magic wonderful?”

The DEL scowled. “Forgive me if I’m not a particular fan right now.”

Richard tapped the bird’s wing. “Sid, this is King Richard.  
Well, not really. I’m not a pigeon.  
This pigeon’s not me; it’s not even mine.  
Don’t worry, because I’m actually fine.  
The thing is, I’m here with the Dark Evil—“

The pigeon cooed.

“Oh,” Richard said. “It’s not a very long message, is it?”

“It’s long enough for most people,” the DEL said tightly.

“I’ll try again,” Richard said, tapping the pigeon’s wing. “Sid, this is King Richard.  
I’m here with the Dark Evil Lord.  
He isn’t that bad; he’s kind of okay.  
We’re trying to help him; he’s had quite a day.  
He got lost in the woods and he—“

The pigeon cooed. Richard frowned. “This is a bit tricky.”

The DEL gritted his teeth and said nothing.

Richard took a deep breath and tapped the pigeon’s wing again. “Sid, this is King Richard.  
Madalena has captured the castle  
She banished the DEL far away from it first.  
He wants to get back to it, but he’s been cursed  
so he keeps blinking out like a wizard who’s drunk—“

The pigeon cooed. Richard reached for the pigeon again, but the DEL held it out of his reach.

“That’s good enough,” the DEL said.

“I’m sure I can do it better,” Richard protested.

The DEL threw the bird into the air. “Too late! She’s escaped.” He sighed with a feigned regret that fooled no one. “Oh well.”

Richard stared at the DEL suspiciously for a moment. “I could’ve done it better.”

Roberta touched his arm. “The important thing is that Sid will get the message.”

“Or will he?” the DEL asked in a threatening tone.

Richard and Roberta stared at the DEL. 

“Yes, of course he will,” the DEL said impatiently. “But I can’t give up all my sinister ways. People will say I’ve gone soft.”

***

No one was more surprised than Sid when, halfway up the hill to the DEL’s castle, a pigeon landed on his head and informed him that it was King Richard. After the pigeon delivered its abbreviated message, it flew off again.

Sid spoke first. “What just happened?”

“Messenger pigeon,” Gareth said. “And it’s good news.”

Sid felt his head to make sure the pigeon hadn’t made a mess in his hair. “What is?”

“If Madalena’s banished the Dark Evil Lord, it means we don’t have to fight him,” Gareth said.

“Yeah, but doesn’t it also mean that Madalena’s more powerful than someone literally called the Dark Evil Lord?”

Gareth sighed. “It’s always something with you. Come on.”

Sid was beginning to suspect that Gareth did not have a healthy enough appreciation of danger.

***

Madalena’s servant came racing into her room. Madalena had noticed that her servant never walked anywhere—although she supposed that being in the service of someone who could do all sorts of unpleasant magical activities would hardly be conducive to an easy stroll.

“My lady,” the servant panted, “there are two men approaching your castle.”

“Interesting,” Madalena said. “What sort of men are they?”

“Fighting men, most like,” the servant said. “They’ve come armed.”

Madalena laughed. “And there are only two of them? That doesn’t even present a challenge!”

“Are you sure?” her servant said timidly. “They do have swords. And one of them seems fairly menacing.”

“I could do with some entertainment,” Madalena said, scrutinizing her fingernails absentmindedly. “If they come to the front door, let them in.”

“But I’m unarmed,” the servant said. “Suppose they decide to do battle with me?”

“Let them try it,” Madalena said, and for a moment, the air around her seemed to seethe with power. “No one threatens my home.”

Before long, her servant nervously (and at a run) led two men into the front room. One of them was indeed menacing, in a way that seemed oddly familiar, although Madalena couldn’t remember ever having met him before. The other man was trying to look menacing but instead he looked constipated.

“Are you all right?” Madalena asked the smaller man pointedly.

“Fine. I’m fine,” the man said.

The menacing man hadn’t drawn his sword, and didn’t even have his hand on its hilt. “We didn’t come to fight.”

“Yes, I noticed those were swords of peace,” Madalena said sardonically.

The menacing man stepped forward. “I wanted to ask you if you wouldn’t reconsider.”

Madalena raised an eyebrow. “Reconsider what?”

“Well…us,” the menacing man said, looking awkward.

“What about you?” Madalena asked, glancing from one to the other.

The menacing man looked at the smaller man, then at Madalena. “No, not him and me us. You and me us.”

“There is no ‘you and me’ us,” Madalena said.

The menacing man struggled not to look disappointed for some reason. “Yeah. Thought you might say that.”

“And why wouldn’t I?” Madalena said. “Is it normal for women to accept suits from men they’ve just met?”

“He didn’t bring any suits,” the smaller man said helpfully.

But the menacing man frowned. “Just met? Don’t you know us?”

Madalena sighed. “Look, I’ve had my fill of people who play games. I’m not interested.”

The menacing man’s attention shifted to her necklace. “That’s new.”

Madalena covered it with her hand. “You can’t have it. And I’m only going to ask you to leave once.”

The menacing man started toward her, hand outstretched. “Maddie…”

“Don’t touch me!” she shouted, sending him flying away from her with a gesture. He thwacked into the stone wall and fell to the ground, still.

The smaller man stared at Madalena. “You killed him!”

Madalena was trying not to feel guilty about that, but it was surprisingly difficult. “I told him to leave.”

“He wasn’t going to hurt you,” the smaller man said.

“No, you’re right. I had nothing to fear from a large man with a sword. I can’t imagine why I was suspicious,” Madalena said sarcastically.

“You really don’t remember him, do you?” the smaller man asked.

She didn’t, but she felt like she should. She stood, staring at the menacing man, who now lay deathly still, crumpled near the bottom of the wall. “There is something about him…but I don’t…” His name. She should know his name. What was it? If she knew him, why couldn’t she remember?

Quick as a flash, the smaller man’s sword moved with precision, severing the chain round her neck and sending the necklace to the floor. When it hit the floor, the gem smashed and the light in it went out…and Madalena raised her eyes from the necklace to find Sid staring at her.

“Sid,” she said. How had she not known him before? Then her gaze returned to the man lying on the floor. “Gareth.”

“I think the necklace stole your memory,” Sid said, but Madalena was already rushing to Gareth’s side, kneeling beside him. He was dead. He was dead by her hand.

No. This wasn’t possible. She’d only meant to lock her past away; she hadn’t meant to do this. Not this. She was those girls in the carriage now. She had hurt someone who didn’t deserve it and she couldn’t take it back. She had struck first, but it hadn't protected her at all, not the way she had believed it would. He couldn't be dead, not really. He must be pretending.

“I know you’re only doing this to teach me a lesson,” she said sharply. “You can wake up now.”

Nothing. No response. Gareth didn’t move, and she couldn’t see him breathing. Madalena took a deep breath. If he wouldn’t wake up as she asked, she’d have to say something that would annoy him so much he couldn’t possibly pretend to be dead any longer.

“You’re grumpy in the mornings;  
you’re grumpier at night.  
The way you eat your dinner  
just destroys my appetite.  
You think it’s boring sitting still  
and watching the sun rise,  
but I could forgive you all of that  
if you’d open up your eyes.

You snore when you are sleeping,  
and snort each time you laugh.  
When you divide things evenly,  
you take much more than half.  
You dance extremely badly,  
and you miss when you swat flies.  
But I could forgive you all of that  
if you’d open up your eyes.

You’re wrong all the time  
when you disagree with me,  
but we were never wrong.  
Open your eyes and see.

You’re brimming with aggression,  
almost as much as mine.  
You act like you’ve been badly hurt  
when really you’ll be fine.  
One of us might not be all right  
if the other of us dies,  
but I…” 

Her voice broke. He wasn’t answering. If he wasn’t answering to that…if he wasn’t getting up…that must mean… She bent her head forward. He couldn’t die. She wasn’t ready. Instead of rage, she felt a rising wave of sadness, ready to swamp her.

“Look at your hands!” Sid gasped.

Madalena looked down and saw that her hands with glowing with some extraordinary sort of light. It was her power, she assumed…although it had never manifested in that way before. What did it mean? What could be happening?

She placed her hands on Gareth’s chest, trying to channel all her power, every bit of it, into healing him. Madalena closed her eyes, feeling her power stretching and being used for something she’d never tried before. She sank deeper and deeper into her knowledge of his body, until she could see everything…every system, every muscle and organ and bone. She cleaned and repaired until there was only one thing remaining. Gareth’s heart wasn’t beating.

 _Beat_ , she told it silently, but nothing happened. She repeated the order more urgently. _Beat!_ Still nothing. What if she couldn’t do it? What if it was too much for her?

No. She would never believe that. Her power must know what to do, even if she didn’t. She just needed to find a way to unlock it. And then she knew.

 _Gareth_ , she said silently. _It’s me. I’m trying to bring you back._ She paused. _Please come back._

And his heart beat. Once…twice…three times…until it was moving in a regular rhythm. She could feel it working, could see his lungs as they began to contract and expand, could see the movement of his blood throughout his body, could see him begin to wake.

Madalena pulled herself out of her trance to find him looking at her.

“I’m sorry I killed you,” she whispered.

Gareth shrugged. “You saved me after. I think we’re even.” He smiled at her.

She smiled too. “Oh. Good.” 

“I did not know you could do that,” Sid said.

She had almost forgotten Sid was there. “Neither did I.”

“So,” Gareth said, slowly pushing himself into a seated position (apparently being dead took some recovery time), “what happens now?”

Madalena took a look around her. “How do you feel about living in a castle?”

“That’d be all right,” Gareth said.

“But you can’t! It’s not yours!” Sid protested.

Madalena glared at Sid, then met Gareth’s eyes.

“Galavant trained him. He can’t help it,” Gareth said.

“I suppose I could build us a new castle,” Madalena said. “The decor around here is pretty depressing. I’m not much for hiking, though.”

Suddenly, a massive breeze swept through the castle. Gareth and Madalena got to their feet and crossed to the window, followed by Sid.

A gigantic dragon was circling the castle, and as it drew nearer, Madalena could see that King Richard and Roberta were on its back.

“His fire came in and he had a growth spurt!” Richard shouted excitedly. “Told you I had a dragon!”

“I don’t believe it,” Gareth said.

“Madalena,” Richard shouted. “Are you still evil?”

Maybe her peasant self had been right. Maybe power and evil were two different things. Madalena couldn’t promise she’d never do anything evil again…but bringing Gareth back from death was more of a good act than anything she had thought she would ever do, and that made her wonder what else she hadn’t thought of.

“No,” she shouted back, then amended, “not entirely.”

“Good!” Richard shouted, looking satisfied. “Can I drop you anywhere?”

Madalena and Gareth looked at each other, and then at King Richard.

“Do you know any castles on the market?” Gareth asked.

***

And so the story ends  
with all our happy friends;  
Gareth and Madalena are an item.  
Tad Cooper’s fully grown;  
King Richard’s always known.  
Now in the face of villains, Tad can fight ‘em.  
Sid has earned his knighthood without censure;  
now he’ll choose his own adventure.  
That's it!  
It's time for us to quit  
so thank you for your hit;  
have one more bit of Galavant!

***

Vincenzo stepped out the front door of their cottage to pick some mushrooms for dinner…and stared. In front of him stood an enormous castle that he was fairly certain hadn’t been there before, and Vincenzo had the sinking feeling that it could only have been created so quickly by one person…one person with magic. Which meant he and Gwynne hadn’t got away as cleanly as they’d hoped.

“Oh no,” Vincenzo whispered, turning round and heading right back into their cottage again. “Gwynne! We’re going to have to move!”


End file.
